As I was lunching with a good friend I realized that the word I had been searching for since Monday was “trivialized”.  Why?  My boss has been doing just this with everything me.  My work, my classes.  Oh yes, the work I understand, that’s her forte.  But my classes?  She said, “They tend to be easy on the grades” with regards to my extension studies. Exsqueeze me? 

I just have to vent:  I [fucking] work hard at my class work.  I have to!  My memory sucks, I’ve developed an unreasonable reaction to quizzes and tests, I am very hard on myself, and if I’ll not be damned, every moment I have is spent doing work, driving to and from work, doing class stuff or trying to give some time to my kid and my husband.  I’m not complaining about all this, I enjoy being ‘busy’ but, I have never gotten the sense from any of my instructors that grading was “easier” than any other college level course I’ve taken.

Yes. Totally resisting the urge to make this petty about my boss.  I should know her by now.  First, let me ask myself “why?” is she doing this, and “why now?”  Why?  Is it because the affect on me is to work harder?  Yeah, right.  I’m about ready to give up and walk away.  If it weren’t for the fact that my kid wants a computer for the holidays and I need some new pants and shoes, it might actually happen.  Why now? This is an easy one.  I’m up for a semi-promotion.  I want more money, and any excuse not to give it to me is conveniently popping up right about now.

I guess that big ol’ question of whether or not it is worth it to start a job search about now or not is looming large in the back of my mind.  What a pain in the ass.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.